Friday, 27 February 2015

(C) Gray Jolliffe. http://www.illustrationweb.com/artists/grayjolliffe/view

Willy


I've a willy in my trousers
It's been there since my birth
Though it hadn't got much length
And it hadn't got much girth.

I've a willy in my trousers
I had it as a boy
My Mummy said "Don't do that,
Your willy's not a toy."

I've a willy in my trousers
It led me on to knowledge
It allowed me in Boys Grammar School
Which got me into college.

I've a willy in my trousers
I've had it all my life
It helped that it grew up with me
And helped me get a wife.

I've a willy in my trousers
It gets me higher pay
I never have to use it
I only have to say -

"I've a willy in my trousers"
And I can be the boss.
You haven't got a willy?
Oh well, my gain, your loss.

Now, the willy in my trousers
Has many roles, though chiefly
It helped me help make babies
If only very briefly.

And the willy in my trousers
Doesn't ask for me to thank it
But occasionally gets restless
And then I have to ...readjust myself and try and think of something like Jeremy Paxman or the weather.

The willy in my trousers 
Will be with me when I go
Though it's silly to be worried
Because nobody will know

If my willy in my trousers
Made me kinder; made me meaner
Or that if I'd been a woman
I'd have called it Wilhelmina 

I've a willy in my trousers
And it's made me what I am
Not a genius or hero
Just a silly willy man.

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